Another light-hearted piece on how things unfolded in the 2nd and 3rd match-day of Euro 2012

Match day one was gold. When most expected a dull match-day 1 and an entertaining match-day 2 – as match-day 2 saw the group of death teams in action – it was the reverse that happened as match-day 1 was so entertaining that this writer could write a whole article on it, but not for match-day 2 alone.

Anyways, match-day 2 and 3 are over and both of them, combined, had enough action for this writer to write something on. Here is what we learned from match-day 2 and 3 of Euro 2012.

Group B is group of death … with extreme boredom

Germany, Holland, Denmark and Portugal. When the teams in this group were revealed, almost every single Football fan was looking forward to see the big teams face-off against each other. Most of us were anticipating absolute crackers of games. But it turned out to be a yawnfest (there you go, a new term for you all to use: yawnfest).

Denmark stunned the Dutch by refusing to touch the ball for 20 odd minutes; but when they did touch the ball, they scored. Denmark 1-0 Netherlands. Denmark scored with only their first real attack. Football was, as Xavi might have said while watching this match on TV, losing.

After the goal was scored, Denmark started playing better (thank God for that or else some Football purists would have banged their heads on the wall and shout ‘FOOTBALL IS LOSING’). But even then Holland were creating more goal-scoring chances, but were  throwing them away like this writer’s 10 month old cousin (who throws away all the things that he gets hold of).

                                                Defying the laws of Football, according to some...

All in all, this game was boring as Holland couldn’t really penetrate Denmark’s defense and Denmark didn’t want to penetrate Holland’s defense since their work was done (or they thought penetrating the opposition’s defense too much is pervert-ish). After this dull game, most were looking forward to the Germany-Portugal game to be interesting. Those expectations were all crushed when that match turned out to be even more boring than Denmark-Holland game. Both these games turned out to be utterly disappointing, especially given the huge hype surrounding them. It was like you asked the best-looking girl at your college out for a date, and she accepts it, but then you go and see that she is dating another guy.

Fernando Torres’ finishing was so bad that he made himself look like a false 9 and Cesc look like a real number 9…

Third match-day of Euro 2012 kicked off with Spain playing against Italy. When the Spain starting XI was announced, everyone was shocked. Shocked at seeing no real strikers in the starting XI. Instead, they saw Cesc leading the line in a false 9 role. Spain conceded in the 61st minute of the game, but instantly replied back with goal from Cesc in the 64th minute – the false 9 may not have worked totally, but it did score a goal, nonetheless.

Then came Fernando Torres for Cesc. Torres brought in Spain's play what was lacking: a number 9’s movement. He didn’t, however, bring the most important thing Spain needed at that time: his scoring boots (if he has them, that is).

                                           'I am the false 9 in disguise...' | Yeah, Nando. Yeah.

Missing 2 chances – once an one-on-one situation with Buffon and another where he could have passed the ball to a totally free Jesus Navas, but chose to shoot himself and shot high above the bar – he not only made a mockery of himself, but also made Cesc look like a real striker and himself as a false 9. Putting it in Ian Holloway’s style, Fernando Torres’ situation is so bad that if he fell in a barrel of b**bs, he’d come out sucking his thumb.

Yes, really.

Xavi, Cesc, Iniesta, Reina and Del Bosque show the World how to complain without complaining…

The match ended 1-1 after some great display of Football from both the teams. The draw was the fairest possible result as both teams had their chances and didn’t deserve to be on the losing side. However, Xavi, Iniesta, Reina, Cesc and Vicente del Bosque had their complains. In a non-complaining way, that is. They thought that the pitch was too dry and that, in turn, hurt their style of play since circulating the ball on a dry pitch is hard.

"I can't complain,” But then Cesc continued, “We deserved much more. It's shameful that we still have to play on pitches like that.”

                'See! Didn't I tell you the pitch was crap?' | The pitch wasn't crap, your hairstyle was.

It is like saying, ‘hey, not intending any offense, but you look like sh*t,’ or like saying someone, ‘I don’t intend to hurt you …’ and then stabbing that person ruthlessly with a knife. This writer also has a message for the 5 of them: guys, I don’t intend to be offensive, but you guys should shut the hell up and do the talking on the Football pitch.

We all now know how to complain in a non-complaining way. This writer has just mastered it, so can you.

Iker Casillas shows us how to be classy as ever…

When some of his Spanish team-mates where blaming the pitch, the shape of the ball, the size of the seats at the ground, the net of the goal, the tall height of some Italian players, and what not, there was Iker Casillas who stayed classy, like always, and admitted that the draw was a fair result. Indeed, the Real Madrid and Spain captain showed people what being humble really is and not be pretentious like some.

In a World where people brag about their ethics, values and morals, and give a holier-than-thou impression, only to show that they are just like the others when things don’t go their way, there are people like Iker Casillas who show us how to be classy … always. 

                                                                       Two of the best ...

Some of his Spanish team-mates should take note. And we all know who they are.