Real Madrid is changing the face of the planet. No, that's not a metaphor.

The Spanish mega-club took the latest step in its quest for world dominance this week, revealing plans for a $1 billion resort island in the United Arab Emirates. The Real Madrid-themed island paradise is set to open in January 2015.

From the Guardian:   

Real Madrid Resort Island will be supported by the government of the Emirate of Ras al-Khaimah. A presentation at the Bernabéu, Real's stadium, showed plans for sports facilities, a marina, luxury hotels, villas, an amusement park, a club museum and a futuristic 10,000-seat stadium with one side open to the sea.

Take that, Barcelona. More than a club? Pah. Where's your island?

No word yet on how much a stay will cost, but it's sure to be quite pricey—and to attract hordes of tourists.

The 430,000 square metre facility is expected to attract around one million visitors in 2015. Real said the artificial island's location put it equidistant between Europe and the far east, adding that more than half their estimated 300 million followers were based in Asia.

That's impressive and all, but why stop at just an island with all the modern amenities?

I say Cristiano Ronaldo should be able to offer female fans the chance to experience the glamorous lifestyle of a football WAG for the 10 most unforgettable seconds of their lives.

And Mesut Özil should be able to offer tours of his vampire coffin while Sara Carbonero "reports" on the second-by-second activities of Iker Casillas down on the beach.

Alas, only daydreams. Sweet, sweet daydreams.