In the spirit of Xmas cheer Aaron Gales examines some of the football quotes that made him laugh out loud.

There has been so much negativity regarding the world of football over the last few months. Whether it be the death of Gary Speed or the continuing racism rows regarding Luis Suarez or John Terry, it has been a dark few months for the sport. I thought I would take a more light hearted look at the sport and some of the funnier quotes provided by the enlightened brains of out national sport. Please feel free to leave your favourite quotes. This was just something quick that I knocked up. Hope you all enjoy it. Merry Xmas!

"There were plenty of players in the fifties who would kick your bollocks off. At the end they would shake your hand and help you look for them." Nat Lofthouse

"Paulo Maldini can say he's done it all now." Peter Crouch after AC Milan played at Fratton Park.

"Kanu is so laid back sometimes when he was playing I thought he was asleep." Paul Robinson on his former team-mate.

"Martin O'Neill standing hands on his hips, stroking his chin." Mike Ingham.

"Forest have now lost six matches without winning." David Coleman.

"I couldn't settle in Italy, it was like living in a foreign country." Ian Rush.

"It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up." Ian Wright after Tony Adams opened up about his battle with alcohol. 

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." Mark Draper.

"I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on screen that George Ndah had scored in the first minute. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing." Ade Akinbiyi.

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." Stuart Pearce.

"I used to put my right boot on first, then obviously my right sock." Barry Venison.

"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing room, get out of the kitchen." Terry Venables.

"Very few of us have any idea whatsoever of what life is like living in a goldfish bowl, except of course those of us who are goldfish." Graham Taylor.

"We keep kicking ourselves in the foot." Ray Wilkins.

"I was a young lad when I was growing up." David O'Leary.

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." Norman Whiteside.

"The minute's silence was immaculate. I have never heard a minute's silence like that." Kevin Keegan.

"Mind you I've been here during the bad times. One year we came second." Bob Paisley

"I had mixed feelings, like watching your Mother in Law drive over a cliff in your car." Terry Venables.

"To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night out and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would not have been the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee." Ian Holloway on his side's win over Chesterfield.

"When I've got nothing better to do, I look down the table to see how Everton are getting along." Bill Shankly.

"Judging by the shape of his face, he must have headed a lot of goals." Harry Redknapp on Ian Dowie.

"I told him Newcastle was closer to London than Middlesborough and he believed me." Kevin Keegan on signing Rob Lee.


Brian Clough was always good for a quote. Here are some of my favourites.

"I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard." On dealing with Roy Keane.

"I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud." On women's football.

"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business but I was in the top one."

"He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach, because she's nowhere near as good at her job as her husband." Advice for David Beckham.